Hello everyone! I recently joined the group and I am happy to see that many of us are taking steps To heal! I’ve recently had to revisit my own mother/father wounds. Honestly, it’s mostly a father wound. In a nutshell, my father was very verbally abusive when he drank (Mainly on Friday and Saturday). He would be quite belligerent and reckless. I remember him calling my mom all sorts of manner names and she would stand up for herself but this was an every weekend thing.
While my mom was on her death, my dad told me that my mom chested on him. I don’t recall responding At all. Perhaps I was in a trance? Well fast forward, 5mo after my mom passed from battling cancer, my dad was diagnosed with cancer. He passed away 4mo later.
After he passed away started to explore the comment about my mom cheating on him. I felt that they were sending me signs. Well I went to visit my cousins home where he passed away. I woke up randomly early that morning with him on my mind. I was moved to ask my aunt, or my mom’s best friend about my mom cheating. She burst into tears and asked who told me. She didn’t want to share the details. Long story short, my biological father is likely a man that I called uncle, he was my aunts God brother, and my neighbor‘s brother in law.... Lord
So he passed away like 4years prior to my mom passing. All of this to say, my dad was hurt, angry, embarrassed, self conscious , etc. He couldn’t have children medically. I still have yet to confirm this through a blood test bc the people who may be my siblings, haven’t responded to my messages to meet. I would be the youngest of like 5. Not, including my older brother from my mom.
Now I’m here with some compassion about why my dad behaved the way that he did. Also, having a better innerstanding of why my mom put up with the abuse. Perhaps she felt that she deserved it and it was better than being a single parent? Either way, I’m still processing and gradually healing. It’s a process for sure... there’s so much more to the story, but if you’ve read this far, thank you.