If someone that you care abt does something to hurt or offend you... and you NEVER say anything to them abt it and subsequently become angry with them, storing up all that anger until it transforms into resentment....then everyone in the situation loses. 1. Its not fair to the other person if they are never told WHY you are upset or what your expectations of them are. That person has had a lifetime of experiences that makes them who they are and typically arent living their lives solely based on what makes you happy, even though they care abt what makes you happy.
Aaaaannnnd if they care abt you, 9 times out of 10 they dont know that theyve done something to hurt you or they wld have probably attempted to rectify the situation or at the very least talk to you abt it. Also you take away their opportunity to tell you why they did it or what they were thinking when they did ehat they did or said what they said. Honestly, them being able to articulate their side of the situation, helps you to stop making up the story in your mind which gives your mind a break from over processing. 2. You suffer the most because they are ignorant to the problem and as a result are probably enjoying an uninterupted mental and emotional state while you on the other hand are seething with anger that will over time alter your mental and emotional state. You aint winning here. We can't say we love ppl and then refuse to give them the opportunities to be humans, make mistakes, learn from those mistakes and subsequently show appropriate remorse. Ppl are ppl and not all of us are good students, so some lessons occassionally need to be re examined Lol! Holding ppl accountable to your expectations w/o making them aware of those expectations is NOT ok. More of us have control and trust issues than we like to admit but once we begin to acknowledge that, then we can begin to deal with OURSELVES in the equation. These are the things that marriage taught me and while I relapse from time to time... im always aware of me in these kind of situations as well as my problems with trusting ppl. As a result, I CHECK MYSELF often. Love aint always pretty... but its always beautiful.
Naz Khalid
9/1/16